i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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