No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
