I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
