Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
