You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
