my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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