i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dignity is for republicans.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
