My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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