with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
