What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
