I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
