Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So squirting runs in the family.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
