Midget sex pt 2 tonight
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
