i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize