Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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