Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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