Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
