I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
