lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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