Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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