i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
