Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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