Can i not drive my cunt home
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She bit a glass in half.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
