pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
