I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
