mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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