Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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