My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
