no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
