Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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