I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
