Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
