We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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