I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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