How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
