Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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