Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
