You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize