Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
