U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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