You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
