also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
