I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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