You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
