About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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