I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want to make out with him forever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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