If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
