How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
