I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
