if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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