bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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