I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
