i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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