clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
