absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
