Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You can't motorboat a personality
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
