Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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