hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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