I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
